I wanted to ask him why he chose me. I wanted to know how I made it so easy. Was it my smile? Did I stare too long? Was it my eyes ? Did they linger an invite him in? Where is it in my heart that Said it was okay to share? I am not sure how but I want to know. In hopes I don't do it anymore.
I want to look the other way. I want to frown instead of smile. Even ignore the eye contact in hopes the message is made clear. I am not interested in pain. Nor am I wanting to go through any of this again. I don't want to chance my own heart to be broken. I don't to give it way again to someone who do not want to be used, nor do I want to grant permission for someone to think it's okay open season on someone like me.
Whatever that means.
I want to ask him but my words do not come when he Is right in front of me. I almost think I am pitiful as I feel a false since of peace from his presence.
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