He asked Me

What is it he see in my eyes? He said it was pain emotional that he could see.  He said it was hurt that he could see and wanted to know what was going on with me.  I didn't know what to say as my heart could only cry, I wanted to say I miss you and feel I am no longer on one accord.  I miss you and the time in our hearts that we shared. It was like I was holding  conversation with my soul as it spoke in the mirror.  I haven't had the fun you've hi have not laughed the way I use to.  I have not felt the freedom I once felt nor the laughter my soul felt.   The games were always fun when played together the stars were always burning brighter.   Even the traffic flowed by faster. 

Makes me wonder how will I know when it is real when this time around i was sure it was time.  I was sure It was me that would finally be with the one I wanted him wanting me the same.  We sat and we talked for quite a  while.  Caught up on old times what's new and the same in our lives.  It was the words unspoken that spoke the loudest the parts that were heard.  You did not tell me she was with you last night you didn't tell me you had no intention of protecting my heart from your non rights.  You didn't tell me that you missed me too or that things between us would one day be like they use to.  You didn't tell me we make love again as before.

Not so much as the love in the bedroom on the couch or table. At the beach on the pew or movie theater.  Not the floor the carpet the hotel the shore.  It was the love we made in our actions in our words in our dates.  I could make love by holding your eyes holding your smile you shared your time you shared your soul.you looked to me for the choices to be made.  You looked to me to get you through the days.  I miss that love we made.  I miss those nights we shared.  I miss the times in our selves that no one else shares.  We had eachother.

He asked me what was it that he sees in my eyes I couldn't tell him it was the hurt of not having him with me.  I couldn't tell him I didn't know how to get over him I didn't tell him things just aren't the same because there is no him ND me.