Trust and Believe

Im my worst nightmare.  I create new ways to be in dispair.  Not just mine but theirs instead of living like the peace linguing everywhere.  Breaking out seems impossible but wont be. Instead ways will be opened as God intended it to be.

I MISS YOU

I miss you more as the holidays draw nearer.  Im not sure if its your voice or maybe your smile but its you.  I miss planning and plotting to see who can out gift the other. I miss all the laughter and surprised faces too. Now i feel like a part of me is missing as more years pass and i am trying to move forward.  Gosh,
I
Miss
You.
I thought for sure wed be happier together.  I didnt ask for much...did i ? As long as you love me...was my real demand.  Not every song reminds me of you so i am getting better.  But some songs...just do. 

I
Miss
You.
I want to be happy for you.  I want to i do. But that want isnt in my will...leaving a lie.  I cant be true to me by being honest saying i want what was mine for you with someone else.  

My heart is broken.  Still.  I Miss You. I still do. 

The Climax

This has reached its climax my heart cant take anymore
Im screaming and clawing unable to swim to shore
Is it our past? Hasit been too much?  Did you harden your heart and not b able to move completly forward?
I cant sleep this way I cant breathe this way. Im suffocating and i am in open oxygen state