My Wedding day

I dreamed it was my wedding day and the ccongregation was packed.  We had it at park ave because it was the largest I asume but that was all wrong. Wyy would I when I haven't even desiredto be there in years?   I was marrying whom. Thought I wanted to marry too but even that felt wrong. Was I marrying 2b married? Was I marrying the right person? Was imarrying for the right reasons? Was I sealing my fate and gaurenteeing unhappy?  Where was my father? I had done everything in such a rush, he wasn't given time to get here.  Why wasn't he walking me down the isle?  There was an awards cermeony for t&f fr cj n the middle and I was so pissed, I walked out. I took backseat, on my wedding day in the middle right after the part where they ask if there is anyone who doesn't feel these two should wed and I held. My head in silence.  Whenthe awards ceremony began I ran in the bathrrom and I cried. Cried for confusion cried fr me not knowing what to do next.  My daughter came to see about me no. One else.  When I stepped out, I saw Sir Knight.  It amazed me because even he was wearin shays and said this us a time of self reflection... I ran back inside the restroom asking how could I call off this wedding when it had gotten so far?   Then, I realized, I hadn't seen the groom. He hadn't checked on me.  More tears, and my hair was nappy not pretty for a wedding day.  I didn't feel beautiful. Just tears and saddness.  What a nightmare! Biggest day of your dreams, and I dreamt up, this nightmare