Apparently

I want him to be in an active relationship with Christ.   Active in worship.  Active in service.   Active in soul searching and leading the family to Him.  I want him to love me . Not in a cute way b u t a relationship that Christ is pleased with and uses us to uplift and direct others.   I want him to be in tuned with me.  He ale to feel my pain and I his.  Our missing one another to be real.  I don't want to desire other friends because I have my mate my lover my husband and friend.  Although the times will come where I wish to laugh with the gir l so I can rest assured because I have him to return home to.  Uplifting one another in all our activities.  

I don't want it to be a illusion how I feel for you.  I want the reality to be just that it's real the life we live and encouraging through experience.   I want him to date me. Take me  v out bowling movies dinner skating ND dancing.   I want him to feel like it's only us in the room .  I want us to worship as on2. Eager to attend service to serve eagerly.   I want our children to be embraced and loved so much you can't question what life ws like before him. 

I want him to be able to strong communication,  excellent presence when he steps in the room.   I want him to love me not fight me. I want to be Made a big deal of.   always. My birthday.  Holidays conscious of me and my desires to please.  I want us to pry together and apart as God is the true trinity.   Belt of truth, brestplAte of righteousness. Stand for one Lord, Church, One. I  want that.

Part 1

Let the Time Rest

I do tire of watching my trust violated.  The goal is to do better rather than get better.  I notice I pity those with so much pain they only know to inflict on others.  So much destruction so much ache to destroy and so blind to see what they do. 

Then it is those too weak to deal.  They look for an outlet in others pain.  They don't want to know the truth.