i feel like im waisting time in a world wind of never ending pain. i think back on the earlier year when starting over was as easy as tying my shoe. then i look at where i am now and wonder when did i decide to just ... stay...
it is not where i want when i see potential for so much more. what will it take? im beyound lost. its more of a pacifier. crying on the inside is not enough anymore, instead i fear the pains are staarting up the exterior surfaces to expose all to the world.
living for God has taken away sinful ways and renewed my thoughts. i still battle sadness occasionally as i see the no in all the feelings where yes should or use to be.
facing another birthday and i am grateful. i just wish i knew that i would be the wife to the husband who will cherish me as i would him, and our family not well this.
